


International Affairs

by darthswift13



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Journalism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Politics, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Hate Sex, Pining, Rivals to Lovers, Sex Crime, Snoke is emotionally abusive to Ben, Social Media AU, Textfic, Unsafe Sex, references to panic attacks and depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:34:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27631448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darthswift13/pseuds/darthswift13
Summary: American journalist Ben Solo has been reporting on politics in London, and he’s been dreading covering the young progressive MP Rey Johnson’s speech because he completely disagrees with her politics. But the moment she takes the stage, he’s captivated by her.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 26
Kudos: 130





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Moodboard by the amazing [Lena!](http://twitter.com/bensoloswhore)  
> This is a Social Media AU that I originally posted on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/darthswift13/status/1242947717917179904)

* * *

**_Our progressive Member of Parliament and our American reporter_ **

**__ **

**__ **

* * *

**_Rey’s friends_ **

__

__

__

* * *

**_Ben’s best friend and his boss_ **

**__ **

**__ **


	2. Chapter 2

**_Jannah has good news and bad news..._ **

**__ **

**__ **

**__ **

* * *

Ben sits in the front row of the auditorium, his notepad poised on his knee while his phone rests on the arm of his seat, the voice memo app open and ready to record Rey Johnson’s speech.

****

All the Labour MPs are insufferable, but Ben finds Rey Johnson  _ especially _ irritating. She’s barely out of uni, and far too naïve to be a decent leader. She has all these grand ideas about making London greener, about switching to zero emission taxis and hybrid busses, which is all well and good, but where does she plan to get the money for her little green passion project? It certainly shouldn’t be the government’s responsibility to fund it, and with a stagnating economy, zero emission taxis should be the least of her concerns.

****

That seems to be her solution to everything  — using up the taxpayer’s dollars, putting the government even further into debt. But then, this is the same mistake all those young, ignorant liberals seem to make, and that’s why 23-year-olds shouldn’t be elected to Parliament in the first place.

****

Ben is almost certain that Snoke gave him this story as yet another means to torment him. It’s probably his punishment for when he sent in his most recent story one minute late. Snoke had already threatened to fire him for such incompetence, so he certainly wasn’t in a position to ask if he could cover something else instead.

****

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” he hears the squeak of the microphone and the sound of the most arresting,  _ captivating _ voice he’s ever heard cut through the auditorium, abruptly snapping him out of his train of thought.

****

He’s surrounded by British accents all the time now, so he shouldn't be as affected by hers as he is. Maybe it’s the accent combined with the way her smile lights up the room and steals the air from his lungs, or the way her eyes  — he can’t quite make out what color they are, he only knows that they are beautiful — glimmer under the stage lights. Or the way she speaks with such passion that suddenly he’s starting to think wasting money on emission-free taxis isn’t such a terrible idea after all. Or the way she carries herself with such confidence that he suddenly feels intimidated by this woman he thought was naïve and too young and inexperienced to be an MP only moments ago.

****

What feels like only moments later, he hears a crescendo of applause booming through the auditorium and he watches as Rey exits the stage. He looks down at his notepad.

****

It’s empty.

****

_ Fuck.  _

****

At least he remembered to record the speech, but without notes, it’s going to take him twice as long to finish the article — as if he needed to give Snoke another reason to hate him. And that’s on top of transcribing the interview.

****

That is, if he can even manage to form coherent questions when he’s sitting two feet away from her. 

****

_ Just stick to the questions you have prepared _ , he reminds himself. Just keep your eyes glued to your notepad, and try to focus less on how lovely her accent is, and more on how stupid the things she says are. 

****

He couldn’t stand her before, but now he  _ especially  _ can’t stand her. Why does she have to be so  _ stupid beautiful,  _ so endlessly, almost  _ obnoxiously  _ charming? He hates her for clouding his head like this, for rendering him entirely useless at his job, which, God knows he was never even that good at to begin with. He knows his writing is mediocre at best; it’s a wonder he still has a job at all, a fact  Snoke reminds him of every chance he gets. 

****

_ Just get the stupid interview over with, and then you never have to see her again.  _ And that will be a relief, because he wants nothing to do with her, of course.

  
At least, that’s what he’s trying to tell himself. 

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

_**Ben lied to Armie...  
** _

_**** _

* * *

* * *

**_The pettiness is strong with this one_ **

**__ **

**_...and Jannah is having none of it_ **

**__ **

**__ **

* * *

**_(Certainly Ben sharing this article at this exact moment is totally a coincidence, right?)_ **

**__ **

* * *

* * *

**_The real reason Rey was giving one-word answers..._ **

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

_**A few days later...** _

_**** _

_****_

* * *

** _Meanwhile, Ben is a mess and Armie has zero clue what is happening_**

* * *

Benjamin Solo arrives at Rey’s office at 3 o’clock p.m. on the dot. 

She notices three things right away.

First, she notices how he’s dressed in a perfectly tailored navy blue suit. Based on the way he dresses and the way he carries himself, she’s certain he must come from money, probably part of a long line of old money Republicans in the states. His family must be _ever so proud_ of their Donald Trump and Boris Johnson worshipping son. Although, they would probably _hate_ that he’s writing a story on a progressive young Labour MP, and the thought brings her a surge of delight. 

The second thing she notices is he seems... _distracted_ somehow. He makes a weird sort of expression that she can’t quite pinpoint when he first sees her, his eyes widening slightly, and then, suddenly, he averts his gaze upward, eyes darting across the room, his gaze landing everywhere except on her, and his mind seems to have gone elsewhere. She already knows that he can’t stand her and would probably rather be _anywhere_ else right now, but he needn’t be so _obvious_ about it. 

She clears her throat, tilting her head in annoyance as she offers her hand for him to shake, which seems to startle him slightly and snap him out of his reverie.

“Sorry, er— “ he stammers. “Good morn—I mean—afternoon. Good afternoon, Miss Johnson.”

She raises her eyebrows at him, waiting impatiently for him to just shake her hand already.

“Right—“ he manages, finally extending his hand awkwardly. 

The third thing she notices is the way touching his hand sends jolts of electricity up her arm and steals the air from her lungs. And if she didn’t know better, she would swear she saw him draw in a sharp breath, too.

She pulls her hand away suddenly, dropping her eyes to the floor before walking back to the other side of her desk, nervously fidgeting with hair hair and smoothing out her skirt in the process.

“Please, do be seated,” she says, her tone awkward and stiff as she gestures to the chair on the opposite side of her desk.

Ben’s brows furrow together.

“Right,” he manages, before walking over and awkwardly sitting down. “You, um—” he pauses and swallows hard. “You look nice today.”

_That’s bizarre_ , Rey thinks. Since when are they exchanging pleasantries?

“Er—“ Rey stammers, “Thanks?” She sighs, exasperated. “Anyway, can we just get this interview over with?” 

“Yes, right, the interview,” Ben replies, fishing his notepad and pencil out of his briefcase and placing them on the desk before pulling his phone out of his suit jacket’s inner pocket and placing it beside his notebook. “It’s okay for me to record this?” he asks as he goes to open the notes app on his phone.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Rey mumbles.

“So,” he sits up, and his countenance seems to change as he goes into journalist mode. “What made you decide to run for office?”

“Well,” Rey starts, “Um...”

_Don’t look at him or you’ll get distracted, don’t look at him or you’ll get distracted, don’t look at him or_ _—_

But it’s already too late. His warm brown eyes are staring at her intently and she’s completely lost her train of thought and she suddenly finds it is difficult to breathe.

_Bloody hell._ Why does the single most insufferable person she’s ever had the misfortune of meeting have to look like... _that?_ _He’s a fucking Trump and Boris Johnson supporter,_ she reminds herself. 

And then, suddenly, she remembers what she was going to say.

“Just...seeing everything that was going on in the world, the way bigots were being emboldened by the likes of Donald Trump and Boris Johnson being elected to the highest office, I couldn’t stand idly by. I had to help in some way. I had to do something,” she explains.

She half expects him to have some sharp retort to her answer, but then she remembers what he said about how when he’s doing actual reporting, he’s committed to just relaying the facts. And, true to his word, his expression is completely neutral and unreadable as he scribbles down notes.

Weirdly, she’s almost... _disappointed_ that he’s not arguing with her, which doesn’t make any sense at all.

“Have you always been interested in politics, or did you only become interested after Trump and Johnson were elected?” he asks. “You don’t have any relation to the Prime Minister, do you?” he adds, realization appearing to dawn on him.

Rey rolls her eyes.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, not you too,” she grumbles, “No, I am in no way related to that sack of shit who calls himself our Prime Minister. Johnson is a very common surname in the UK.”

“Right. Sorry,” Ben mutters.

“ _Anyway_ ,” she continues, glaring at him pointedly, “I’ve been interested in politics from the time I was a teenager, but the current political climate is what made me want to run for office, yes.”

His eyes are glued to his notepad as he scribbles down some notes. 

“And what made you interested in politics as a teenager?” he asks, glancing up at her again. 

“Oh, um, just, I—” she stumbles over her words, trying to find a way to avoid the question. “Just...reasons,” she manages finally.

This seems to frustrate Ben. He sighs and sets his pencil down.

“Really? ‘Reasons’? That’s not very helpful, Miss Johnson.”

“Well, you’ll have to excuse me for being reluctant to open up about my childhood to someone who has no doubt had everything handed to him for his entire life,” Rey snaps.

Ben tilts his head, furrowing his brows slightly in irritation.

“That’s a _very_ presumptuous statement to make about someone you barely know, Miss Johnson—”

“Oh, believe me, I know _everything_ I need to know about you, Benjamin Solo,” she hisses, cutting him off and standing up abruptly. “And anyway, I think this interview is _quite_ over with.”

Ben’s expression changes to something almost resembling hurt. 

“I — Miss Johnson — I apologize, I wasn’t trying to offend—” 

Rey scoffs.

“Frankly, Mr. Solo, I find _you_ and _everything_ you stand for unforgivably offensive. It’s people like _you_ who I spend everyday fighting against so I can try to make this world a better, more equitable place for everyone,” she says in a sharp, icy tone.

She starts walking toward the door.

“So, I _really_ think you ought to be going now, Mr. Solo,” she adds.

“Fine,” Ben mutters as he shoves his notebook, pencil, and phone back into his briefcase. “You know, Miss Johnson, you really ought to treat reporters better. Your career lives and dies on the public’s perception of you, and journalists help shape that perception.”

She folds her arms across her chest, her face scrunching up with both anger and disgust.

“Oh, _please_ , spare me your condescension, Mr. Solo. I don’t need you to tell me how to do my job, and I don’t exactly owe filthy right wing bigots any respect, anyway.”

“I don’t appreciate the insinuation that I am a bigot just because I don’t support things like reckless government spending,” he mutters as he stands up, walking over to where Rey is standing with her back to the door. 

“ _God_ , please don’t tell me you’re one of those idiots who thinks you can be socially liberal and fiscally conservative, as if capitalism itself isn’t the system which perpetuates social inequality in the first place,” Rey says sharply. 

“Capitalism,” he starts, irritation evident in his voice as he takes another step toward her, “encourages creativity and healthy competition. You’re even more naive and foolish than I thought if you think any alternatives to capitalism could ever be feasible, Miss Johnson.”

Rey rolls her eyes.

“Of _course_ you’re eager to defend capitalism,” she tells him, “you are _exactly_ the sort of person who benefits from it, and _of course_ you’ve never stopped to think about how it exploits the most vulnerable members of society because it doesn’t affect _you,_ so why should _you_ care, right? _”_

Ben takes another step toward her, his shoulders rising with the effort of his labored breaths. 

“So this is your opinion of me,” he says icily.

She is now standing with her back pressed against the door—when did that happen? 

“It is,” Rey snaps, and she hopes he doesn’t notice her the way she’s breathing heavily, or how she can’t help but stare at those full, pillowy lips of his even though she absolutely loathes him. She hates how she can’t think straight when he’s this close to her, the way the scent of his cologne floods her senses and makes her incapable of coherent thought.

“Miss Johnson, you’re — you’re blocking the door,” Ben points out.

But she doesn’t make any effort to move. And he takes another step toward her.

_What the fuck is happening right now?_

“Right. Sorry,” she says softly, but once again, she doesn’t make any effort to move. She watches his eyes dart to her lips and she draws in a sharp, shaky breath as he leans in ever so slightly closer to her. 

“Miss Johnson—” 

And then before she even realizes what’s happening, before she has a chance to stop and think about what she’s doing, she pushes herself onto her tiptoes, takes his face in her hands, and she forcefully presses her lips against his.

And he kisses back just as fervently, his hands knotting in her hair as he tugs at it slightly, his lips tracing along the seam of her mouth as if he’s asking her to open it. She immediately obliges, and _oh,_ nothing has ever felt quite so perfect or intoxicating as his tongue gliding through her parted lips to find hers, and she tries _desperately_ to pretend it’s someone, _anyone_ other than _Benjamin Solo_ kissing her so perfectly. 

She feels his large hand gliding down her tight-fitting black dress before pulling her in closer by her waist and she melts under his touch, feeling boneless and weightless and she never wants him to stop kissing her, even if he is the worst person she’s ever met.

But they have to stop to breathe at some point, and agonizingly, he breaks the kiss as they both gasp for air. Rey feels her cheeks flushing hot and her eyes dart to the floor. She clears her throat dramatically and he takes his hand off of her waist and steps away from her, his eyes darting to the ceiling as he swallows nervously.

“Right then,” Rey mumbles, awkwardly smoothing out her dress and adjusting her hair without looking at him. 

Rey turns and opens the door for him, keeping her eyes glued to the floor.

“Er—have a good evening then, Mr. Solo,” she says in an overly formal tone.

“I — right — um — good-bye, Miss Johnson,” he manages awkwardly, fumbling to pick up his briefcase before exiting her office as quickly as possible. 

She closes the door behind him a bit too forcefully and then leans against it, her face still hot as she tries to catch her breath and make sense of the completely insane, completely _idiotic_ thing she just did. 

* * *

* * *

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

**_Rey is being cryptic on her personal Twitter_ **

**__ **

* * *

Ben takes a deep breath before knocking on the door to Rey’s office. _Just be professional,_ he reminds himself. _Whatever you do, don’t think about how she’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever laid eyes on or about how that was the best kiss of your life._

****

But any hope of that flies out the window when Rey opens the door, looking ravishing in a pencil skirt, a dark purple button down blouse, and high heels. She did something different with her hair —she curled it, maybe? Either way, it looks lovely. _She_ looks lovely. And then she _smiles_ , and he feels like he’s melting into the floor.

****

_She’s a Labour MP, an incredibly naïve bleeding heart liberal, just like you used to be,_ he tries to remind himself. _Besides, she hates you, and she just wants to get these interviews over with._

****

“Er...are you going to come in, Benjamin, or are you just going to keep staring at me?” Rey snaps, irritation evident in her tone as she folds her arms across her chest, raising one eyebrow slightly.

****

“Right, right, sorry, I — er — sorry, right,” Ben stammers.

****

“Are you feeling okay? You’re acting _awfully_ strange,” Rey remarks. “Anyway, _do_ come sit down, Mr. Solo,” she lilts with a fake smile and mock formality. 

****

He nods awkwardly, swallowing nervously.

****

“I would appreciate it if you didn’t yell at me this time,” he mutters as he sits down and fishes his notepad out of his briefcase.

****

“I make no guarantees, Benjamin,” Rey remarks as she sits down opposite him, narrowing her eyes at him, but he almost thinks he sees the hint of a playful smile tugging at her lips. “Also, if you don’t mind, I have some questions for _you_ before this interview starts, Mr. Solo. You see, I’ve done some Internet research on you and discovered some _very interesting_ information.”

****

Ben raises his eyebrows.

****

“You _Googled_ me, Miss Johnson?” he asks, and there’s a slight air of teasing in his tone.

****

“I — did not — I — I just — “ Rey lets out an exasperated sigh as she becomes briefly flummoxed, which Ben finds endlessly adorable. “Like I said did some _Internet research_ because I just wanted to know more about the mysterious arsehole who is interviewing me for his stupid Trump worshiping propaganda journal masquerading as a reputable news source, and I found two _very interesting_ pieces of information, Mr. Solo.”

****

He freezes briefly, wondering what, exactly, Rey managed to uncover.

****

“First of all, I was shocked to discover that you are _not_ a registered Republican after all, but rather a registered Independent, but _most_ shockingly _, when_ were you planning to tell me you worked for _National Public Radio_ ? _You_ , Benjamin Solo, _fiscal conservative,_ vehemently anti-government spending _Benjamin Solo_ , worked for a government funded radio station that is notoriously left-leaning? Will wonders never cease? And you did some liberal editorials for them as well, so I’m just wondering how the _fuck_ you went from _that_ to writing columns in support of _Boris Fucking Johnson_?”

****

He pauses for a moment.

****

“I’ll tell you why I left NPR if you tell me why you became interested in politics as a teenager,” he counters.

****

Rey keeps opening her mouth to speak and then closes it again, furrowing her brow in frustration. For once, she’s the speechless one.

****

“I don’t like you, Benjamin Solo,” she finally manages.

****

“So you keep telling me, Miss Johnson.”

****

Rey sighs. 

****

“Can we just get this interview over with already?”

****

“Right,” Ben says, and he flips through his notepad in search of his questions. “What’s your favorite thing about being an MP for Vauxhall?”

****

Thankfully, Rey doesn’t yell at him for this question—in fact, her whole face lights up, and she has never been lovelier. 

****

“I’ve lived in this part of London for almost my entire life — Brixton, specifically; it’s my home. And having the opportunity to represent my community in Parliament is _such_ an honor that I take very seriously. I love interacting with my constituents, and I feel like I’m making a real difference...”

****

There is a twinkle in her warm, rich hazel eyes as she speaks and the more she elaborates on how much she loves her job, the more she _smiles_ and _oh_ , nothing has ever been more beautiful than seeing Rey Johnson smile. It’s like radiant sunshine, a warm balm for his soul. He thinks he could look at her smile forever. 

****

“...so, yeah, I guess that was more than one thing, it’s just, once I get started talking about my favorite things about being an MP, I just can’t seem to stop myself.”

****

Ben looks down at his notepad and it’s empty. _Fuck_ . This is the speech night all over again. He didn’t get any of what she just said, and he forgot to turn on his voice memo app. And now he can’t think of _anything_ but kissing her again, pressing those soft pink lips of hers against his own, feeling her fingers running through his hair, breathing her in, pulling her closer to him...

****

“Mr. Solo? Hello? Are you listening to me?” her voice snaps him out of his reverie. 

****

Writing this profile is going to be even more difficult than he initially thought. 

****

“Oh, um, that’s all my questions for today,” Ben says hurriedly as he stands and shoves his notepad back into his briefcase, avoiding eye contact.

****

“You know, that would make this the second interview in a row where you’ve only asked me one question. Granted, the last time was my fault, but still, don’t you have a deadline?” Rey asks. 

****

“Yes, Miss Johnson, I do have a deadline, and I don’t appreciate your condescending tone. I am a professional journalist and I know what I’m doing,” he snaps.

****

Rey scoffs, standing up suddenly. 

****

“ _Jesus_ , it was just a question. Why are you always _so fucking rude_ for no _bloody reason_?”

****

“I could ask you the same question, Miss Johnson,” Ben counters.

****

“That’s funny, because I thought you were leaving, Mr. Solo,” Rey retorts irritably.

****

“Yes, I am.”

****

“Good,” Rey replies with an over-the-top fake smile.

****

“Good,” Ben echoes.

****

“Great,” Rey mutters sharply.

****

“Excellent.”

****

But neither one of them makes any movement toward the door. They remain frozen in place on either side of the desk, the air thick with tension, the sound of their labored breaths magnified by the sudden, palpable quiet. 

  
After a long moment, Ben finally speaks.

****

“Right, so, um, I should get going now,” Ben’s voice cuts through the silence. “Have a nice evening, Miss Johnson.”

****

And with that he turns away from her and starts walking towards the door.

****

He is just about to turn the door knob when he hears her voice calling out behind him.

****

“Ben, _wait—_ ”

****

She doesn’t know what she’s doing, doesn’t know why she just demanded that he wait, she only knows she doesn’t want him to leave, and some inexplicable part of her is demanding for him to be closer, _closer._

****

Ben freezes in place, his breathing quickening. He turns around slowly. 

  
“Yes?” he asks hesitantly. 

****

And then she marches right over to him, takes his face in her hands, and kisses him even more fiercely than she had earlier that week. He’s so shocked that his hands sort of hover on either side of her for a moment, his eyes widening until his body finally catches up with his brain and he lets one hand engulf the side of her face, the other pulling her in closer by her waist.

****

She lets her fingers tangle into his hair, tugging at it slightly, eliciting a small moan to spill forth from the back of Ben’s throat. And when she lets her tongue slide through his parted lips, he _groans,_ and she’s drunk on the sound. She feels his hungry hands gliding everywhere.

****

He breaks the kiss suddenly, and she watches as his dark eyes scan her face, his brows furrowed slightly, like he’s trying to make sense of what’s happening. 

****

“Miss Johnson...what are you — what are you doing?” he says softly, breathlessly. 

****

Rey sighs, exasperated.

****

“What does it _look like_ I’m doing, Benjamin?” she quips irritably, leaning in to kiss him again but he pulls away slightly, much to her chagrin.

****

“I thought we were going to pretend that kiss never happened,” Ben retorts.

****

“ _Ben_ ,” she clamors, “I don’t _care_ what I said. I just—I just need you, Ben—I need—I need you to touch me—” 

****

And her words must have done something to him because suddenly his mouth is on hers again, and he kisses her so forcefully she stumbles backward against the desk, gasping into his open mouth. He starts trailing kisses along the column of her neck, and she throws her head back to accommodate him.

****

“You know, Miss Johnson,” he murmurs against her neck in between kisses, “—this is— _highly—” ,_ he nibbles at her pulse and then soothes it with his tongue, and she moans in response, “— _unprofessional_ —”

  
She hisses out a breath between her teeth. 

****

“ _Fuck you,”_ she mutters under her breath. “God, I can’t _stand_ you, Benjamin Solo.”  
  


“Says the woman who was just begging me to touch her a moment ago,” he points out with a self-satisfied smirk, and she has never loathed him more. She lets out a frustrated huff in response, but then she feels his knee wedged between her thighs and all she can focus on is how _good_ that feels, an electric explosion of delicious friction flooding her senses, and she grinds down against him instinctively. 

****

“Yes—Ben—” she gasps breathlessly. 

****

There’s a softness to his expression suddenly, something tender in his warm brown eyes as he brushes her hair out of her face.

****

“Did you curl your hair today? It looks nice,” he murmurs.

****

Rey feels her cheeks flushing hot for some inexplicable reason. She _did_ curl her hair today. But she never expected him to actually notice.

****

“Oh, um — yeah — I — I did — thank you?”

****

And then when he kisses her lips again she’s surprised at how slow and almost _tender_ it is. He gently licks into her mouth and she _melts_ and she’s already _so wet_ for him.

****

She doesn’t even understand how or why any of this is happening, why she’s so magnetically drawn to him, why he is being so gentle and tender with her despite the fact that she’s desperately trying to make this — whatever _this_ is— anything but that.

****

He kisses her jaw and then begins to rain kisses down her neck, stopping at her collarbone. 

****

“This is pretty,” he murmurs with a soft smile as his fingertips brush against the silky fabric of her blouse, “Purple suits you,” he adds as he deftly begins unbuttoning her eggplant colored blouse as he continues to trail kisses down lower along her chest.

****

She still doesn’t understand why he’s being so... _nice_ to her right now. But she doesn’t have time to mull over his strange behavior because all conscious thought floods her mind when she feels him palming at her breasts over her bra, and she instinctively reaches around to unclasp it, letting it fall to the floor.

****

The intensity with which he gazes at her — like she’s the only person ever to exist, almost like... like she’s everything he’s ever wanted — makes her cheeks flush hot again and then, _oh_ , he takes one of her breasts in his mouth and begins to suck on it, his mouth hot against her skin, sending electric white heat coursing through her veins.

****

She is surely dripping onto her desk by now.

****

He fondles her other breast with his free hand, the other gripping her firmly at the waist, _engulfing_ it. She gingerly reaches down and guides his hand to the zipper at the back of her skirt and she hears his responding sharp intake of breath.

****

“Are you sure, Rey?” 

****

That’s the first time he’s called her by her first name. 

****

She nods furiously.

****

“ _Please_.” 

****

She feels a surge of pleasure as he delicately, _oh so_ delicately tugs at the zipper and pulls it all the way down and then, with her help, he slowly tugs her skirt off of her.

****

She’s sitting on the edge of her desk now, lips swollen and shirt unbuttoned, her skirt now in a heap on the floor along with her bra, and she should be embarrassed to be in such a state in the middle of her office with a reporter from the bloody _Wall Street Journal_ of all places tugging her panties off, but she would be lying if she said the tight pencil skirt and curled hair weren’t entirely intentional, as if this wasn’t what she had secretly, _wickedly_ hoped would happen.

****

She feels his lips press against her own once more, and it’s a fierce, _searing_ kiss that makes her feel boneless and weightless as his tongue explores her mouth in a way that makes her see stars. She feels his fingers brushing against her sex, and she’s so wet that just this delicate caress of his fingertips makes a filthy sound.

****

He places a kiss on the corner of her mouth, and then her jaw, and then she feels his hot breath against her ear, making her shiver.

****

“ _Fuck_ , you’re so wet _,_ ” he murmurs, his voice low and husky. “ _Rey,_ I can’t believe how wet you are for me.”

****

And then he slides a finger inside of her and she gasps at the sudden and shocking and _electrifying_ sensation, throwing her head back and closing her eyes, cursing under her breath, one hand gripping the edge of her desk to steady herself. 

****

She feels him groan against her neck as he slides another finger inside of her.

****

“Yes, _yes_ , just like that, Ben,” Rey manages between panting breaths.

****

He’s looking her in the eyes now and there’s something...so _intense_ about the way he’s gazing at her that it makes her cheeks burn hot again. 

  
Her voice bleats out in hoarse whimpers as he brings her closer and closer.

****

“You feel so perfect, Rey,” he croons, “So tight, so _wet,_ even better than I imagined you would be.”

****

And _fuck_ , knowing he’s thought about this too the way she has brings her a filthy, intoxicating satisfaction and suddenly she’s _so close_ — _so so_ close —

****

She moans his name as she comes all over his hand. He lingers there for a moment, and then Rey whimpers slightly as he pulls his fingers out of her, but suddenly all she can focus on is how his erection is straining against the navy blue fabric of his trousers.

****

She bites her lower lip, gazing up at him with wide, imploring eyes as she slowly reaches out toward his belt, and he wastes no time helping her along, his hands shaking slightly as he unbuckles it and lets it fall to the floor. 

****

Rey tugs at his trousers and his underwear with a frustrated huff, and he chuckles.

****

“Patience,” he admonishes.

****

“I’m not feeling particularly patient at this particular moment, Mr. Solo, because your cock is not currently in my mouth and I would very much like it to be,” she informs him.

****

His whole face flushes pink at this comment, his eyes widening, and she’s pleased with herself for having done this to him, a smug half-grin peeking across her face. 

****

“You need me so badly, don’t you? You’re already leaking, aren’t you? Let me — let me _taste_ you, Ben,” she croons as she pulls his underwear down the rest of the way and _fuck_ he’s so big, she wonders how he’s even going to fit in her mouth, but it’s an experiment she is all too eager to try. 

****

“ _Fuck_ , Rey,” he groans under his breath and she smirks up at him as she licks a long, hot stripe along his shaft before closing her mouth around him and beginning to suck, humming around his cock as he laces his fingers into her hair. 

****

She looks up at him, and he’s all flushed with his swollen lips parted slightly. He keeps his eyes closed as low, desperate sounds escape from his lips. She can feel his hands trembling as he knots his hands into her hair, and she _relishes_ in the way she’s made him come completely undone. 

****

And when he comes he moans her name, filling her mouth with his cum. She relishes in the feeling of it dripping down her throat as she laps all of it up.

****

She pulls him out of her mouth and wipes her lips with the back of her hand and then suddenly the enormity of everything they’ve just done seems to hit her and she stiffens, averting his gaze as she locates her bra, hurriedly hooking it back on and then sliding her shirt back on and buttoning it up. 

****

She clears her throat as she fishes his belt off the floor, handing it to him without meeting his eyes. She awkwardly fumbles with the zipper on the back of her skirt, but then she feels a large hand on top of her own, stopping her hurried fidgeting, and then she hears his voice in her ear murmuring, “Let me.”

****

And she feels a sudden, inexplicable rush of warmth. 

****

“Thanks,” she mumbles, smoothing out her hair awkwardly. When she looks up again he’s fully dressed as well, and her heels click as she walks over to the door.

****

“Just — er — just text me when you’re available for the next interview,” Rey mutters awkwardly, her eyes glued to the floor, before opening the door for him.

****

“Right,” Ben replies quietly, and for some reason, he almost sounds... _hurt?_ But that can’t be right.

****

When she shuts the door, she leans against it for a moment, squeezing her eyes shut. 

****

_What the fuck did I just do?_


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

**_Rey is currently listening to:_ **

**__ **

* * *

**From** : Padm é Amidala < padméamidala@gmail.com >

**Sent** : April 4, 2020 4:46 PM

 **To:** Benjamin Solo < bsolo@wsj.com >

**Subject** : Recent articles

* * *

Dear Benji,

I hope this email finds you well. Leia said you might have my E-mail “blocked”, and she said that means my emails are not getting to your inbox, which is why you haven’t responded to me in 5 years, but I still read all of your articles, and I’m going to continue to E-mail you about your articles just in case there’s a chance you’re still seeing these E-mails. 

I was thrilled to see you covered a Labour MP’s speech. I hope you continue to write articles like that in the future. I also saw you are covering London’s efforts to move to emission-free taxis. I know it’s just reporting and we likely still disagree about our politics, but I’m thrilled to see your reporting highlighting social and environmental justice issues. I hope you continue to write about these things in the future.

I am curious about the effect of gentrification on people of color and working class individuals living in Lonon, I don’t see as much research done on gentrification there compared to how much it’s talked about in the States. Leia helped me do a Google.com search and I found Islington, Hackney, and Camden are seeing the most gentrification currently, and that could be an interesting focus for an article.

Love you so much, and I hope to hear from you soon!

All my love,

Your Nonna 

* * *

* * *

* * *

**To** : Padm é Amidala < padméamidala@gmail.com >

**Sent** : April 5, 2020 11:46 AM

 **From:** Benjamin Solo < bsolo@wsj.com >

 **Subject** : RE: Recent articles

Dear Nonna,

  
What kind of person would block their grandmother’s email address?

That’s a very helpful idea for an article, and my editor is letting me write it. I was just wondering, if it’s not too much to ask, can you tell me a little more about your opinions on gentrification? Just so I can get both sides of the story for the article, of course.

I miss you.

Love,

Benji

* * *

* * *

**_In which Nonna Padmé learns how to “Screen Shot”_ **

**__ **

**__ **

**__ **

* * *

**Rey is being cryptic on Twitter again**

* * *

**_...And Jannah is starting to get concerned._ **

**__ **

****

* * *

****

This time, Rey is determined to make sure nothing happens between her and Ben beyond just answering his interview questions. Before their last interview, she had chosen her outfit with anything _but_ an interview on her mind, but this time she’s resolute in her decision that _nothing_ like that can ever happen again. She doesn’t even _like_ him. He’s a fucking _conservative_ for crying out loud — certainly not someone worth risking a potentially career-ending scandal over.

****

So she chooses her simplest work outfit — a black blouse paired with a black blazer and plain black dress pants. She haphazardly throws her hair into a half up, half down style that falls in slightly messy and undefined waves to her shoulders, and the only makeup she wears is a simple swipe of mascara. It’s a far cry from the tight pencil skirt and perfectly curled hair she wore to her last interview, and she hopes the overall effect of the look will be the opposite.

****

* * *

Ben knocks on her office door and fidgets nervously while he waits. He’s already falling so hard for her, and she doesn’t even _like_ him. He feels like an idiot, but he can’t change how he feels about her. He can’t change the fact that she’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever laid eyes on. He can’t change the fact that she is making him question his entire life, his entire worldview just after knowing her for such a short period of time. She has burst into his life, stopped his world and knocked him off his feet and he will never be the same.

****

Even if she absolutely hates him.

****

When she opens the door, she takes his breath away, as always.

****

Her hair looks even prettier this time, falling in effortless, cascading tousled chestnut-colored waves, and there’s something else about her that’s different, something that somehow makes her even more captivating — if that’s even possible, but he can’t quite put his finger on it. 

****

And then it dawns on him: she has _freckles_. How had he never noticed before?

* * *

****

Why does he have to look like _that?_ Why does he look so stupidly handsome in that charcoal grey suit of his, why is he so broad shouldered and impossibly _tall_ , why does he smell so intoxicating with his stupid expensive mahogany and bergamot cologne that it makes her head spin. Why, why, _why_ is she so bloody attracted to one of the worst people she’s ever met? Why does she so badly want to kiss those full, _impossibly_ full plush, pink lips of his, when she knows full well he contradicts everything she has ever stood for and openly and willingly supports racist bigots who ruin people’s lives?

****

Rey clears her throat, attempting to snap herself out of her stupid _, stupid, unbelievably_ stupid train of thought. 

****

“Right then,” she mutters, “Pleasure to see you, as always, Mr. Solo,” she says with a broad, fake smile. 

****

He swallows thickly, and for some reason, he seems almost hurt by her passive aggressive, mock formality, as if the idea that it’s not actually remotely a pleasure to see him hurts his feelings somehow.

****

But that would be ridiculous; he loathes her just as much as she loathes him. 

****

“Are you going to let me into your office, Miss Johnson?” he asks stiffly, and it’s only then that she realizes she’s just been lingering in the doorway staring at him like an idiot. 

****

“Oh right, yes, of course,” she stammers. 

****

But for some reason, she remains rooted in place. Like she couldn’t move even if she wanted to. 

****

And she’s just gazing up at him, her shoulders rising with the effort of her labored breaths.

****

“Miss Johnson—”

****

His brows knit in confusion as his eyes scan her face, as if he’s trying to make sense of what’s happening.

****

She considers everything Jannah had said to her. She’s right; if it ever got out that she was involved with a reporter, it could destroy her career that she has fought so hard for when the odds have been stacked against her for her entire life. She can’t risk losing that, especially not for _Benjamin Solo_ of all people. 

****

But then again...

****

Nothing safe is worth the drive. 

****

Her eyes dart to his mouth, and she bites her lower lip.

****

And then before she can think better of it, she stands up on her tiptoes and forcefully presses her lips to his.

****

* * *

****

He’s briefly perplexed, just as he was the first time she kissed him. He drops his suitcase with a _thud,_ dumbfounded. His eyes widen and his hands hover briefly, a surprised gasp escaping from the back of his throat. 

****

She swore she wouldn’t let this happen again, but there’s just something almost... _magnetic_ about him, and when he gets too close to her, her brain stops functioning and she just wants him, _needs_ him to be kissing her, to be touching her. 

****

When he finally seems to make sense of what’s happening—and she can hardly blame him for being taken aback, after she keeps swearing this has to stop but then always doing the exact _opposite_ of stopping—he pulls her in close, his massive hand engulfing her waist. 

****

She kisses him in a hungry, desperate flurry, her hands threading through his dark hair and tugging at it slightly, her tongue sliding against his as the kiss deepens into something frenzied and messy. 

****

She pulls away slightly, gasping for air.

****

His darkened eyes are scanning her face, as if he’s still trying to make sense of what’s happening here, but there’s also something else in his gaze, something she can’t quite pinpoint — if she didn’t know better she would think it was something like... _tenderness_.

****

“Ben—I want—I need—”

****

“Tell me what you want, Rey,” he breathes, leaning in closer to her again and letting his hand brush against her cheek.

****

She closes her eyes, and she hates the way she completely melts into his delicate touch. 

****

She feels him start to trail kisses down her neck, featherlight and perfect, and she leans her head backward, relishing in how maddeningly fucking perfect it feels to have his lips on her neck.

****

“ _Rey_ ,” he mouths at her collarbone, and there’s a firmness to his tone now that sends a flutter through her chest and weakens her knees. “Tell me what you want.”

****

“I want—I want you to make me come,” she manages, her voice breathy and raw, her shoulders rising with the effort of her jagged breaths.

****

She feels him smile against her chest, and then he lifts his head so he can lean in close to her and whisper in her ear. 

****

“You want me to make you come like I did before?” he murmurs, and the low rumble of his voice in her ear makes her shiver as one of his hands rakes through her hair. “When you were all spread out on your desk for me and you let me fuck you with my fingers?”

****

Rey whimpers, nodding her head. He huffs out a breath and a small smile pulls at his lips, and then he’s raining kisses down her throat again.

****

“So greedy,” he murmurs against her neck before nimbly undoing the buttons of her blouse. She feels one of his hands palming at her breast over her bra while the other trails lower, sliding down into her pants until she feels his fingertips brushing against her entrance. 

****

A tiny groan escapes from his lips.

****

“ _Fuck_ , you’re already so wet,” he mutters. 

****

She leans back against her desk to more easily accommodate him. 

****

He slowly slides two fingers inside of her and she’s so wet it makes a filthy sound as he starts rhythmically pressing them into her.

****

And, _fuck_ , it’s pure, delicious electricity — but it’s still not enough.

****

“Ben?” she manages between soft, whimpered moans.

****

“Yes, sweetheart?”

****

_Sweetheart?_ Why would he call her something like _that?_ It throws her for a loop for a moment, and she forgets what she was going to say. But then he twists his fingers inside of her and it makes her whole body jerk as she cries out, and suddenly she can’t focus on anything but the filthy things he’s doing to her with those sinful fingers of his.

****

“I—I want—” she tries to say, barely able to catch her breath. “I—”

****

She can’t get the words out before she’s coming, the walls of her bland office melting away, the edges of her vision going white as her orgasm wracks through her body, leaving her trembling and gasping for air.

****

God, why does someone she absolutely cannot stand have to make her come like _that?_

****

And somehow, impossibly, she’s still not satisfied; she still needs more. 

****

“Tell me what you want, Rey,” his voice is unexpectedly firm and commanding again, and _oh_ how it makes her _melt._

****

“I want—I want you to fuck me, Ben,” she manages to breathe out, and then lips are on hers and he kisses her fiercely, licking into her mouth as she groans, sliding off her blazer without breaking the kiss, and then he’s unbuttoning her blouse in such a frenzied and fumbling way that she’s vaguely concerned he might rip it, but she’s too far gone to care. 

****

Once her blouse has been discarded his trembling hands manage to unclasp her bra as she feverishly starts tugging at his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. Once she slides her arms out of her bra, letting it fall onto her desk, he shrugs off his suit jacket and Rey immediately tugs at his belt, and he helps her unfasten it. 

****

There’s more frenzied tugging at garments until their both naked, and Ben’s hands rake across her bare skin, their tongues tangling as she leans back against her desk, feeling how hard he is against her belly, until she’s laying down against it while he sucks at her pulse.

****

But then he stops suddenly and Rey looks up at him with a puzzled, almost panicked look. _God, why did you stop?_

****

“Wait, wait, _fuck_ ,” he mutters against her neck.

****

“What is it?”

****

He sighs and looks up at her.

****

“I don’t—Rey, I don’t exactly bring condoms with me to work,” he mumbles.

****

Oh. _Right._ Fuck. She was so carried away with desire she hadn’t even stopped to think about _that_.

  
“I — my flat isn’t far from here though, we could go there —” he starts to say.

****

Rey’s expression is incredulous.

****

“Ben, why would we go to your _house_?”

****

Something like hurt clouds his features, and his face falls.

****

“Oh...right,” he says quietly.

****

She has no desire whatsoever to go to his fucking _house_ because that would make this far too intimate, far too real. 

****

And she _definitely_ shouldn’t say the incredibly stupid thing she wants to say: that she doesn’t care, and just wants him to fuck her anyway. And, God, she _had_ just worked on a safe sex initiative with the NHS, she of all people should know better, and she feels like a hypocrite for what she’s considering doing. It’s would be so irresponsible and so unlike her, but then again, so is fucking a conservative reporter in her office. 

****

So she says something stupid.

****

“I’m on birth control and I’ve been tested and I don’t have anything, so as long as you’re clean too—”

  
“I am,” he says simply.

****

“So...” Rey trails off, but he doesn’t say anything, and she panics, wincing as she looks up at the ceiling. “I — _God,_ fuck that was stupid to say, if you don’t want to, I completely understand, we could um, there’s other things we could still do —”

****

“Rey,” he looks at her with a blazing, resolute look in his dark eyes. “I didn’t say I don’t want to,” his lips find her neck, trailing kisses upwards and stopping at her ear. “I need to be inside of you,” he murmurs, his voice an intoxicating low rumble. 

****

Why does he have to say things like _that?_ It makes it so much harder to hate him. So much harder to pretend this is just meaningless hate sex.

****

“Wait,” she says softly, turning around so she’s bent over her desk, partially because that will be an easier angle with them both standing up, and partially because maybe if she doesn’t look at him it’ll be easier to pretend this means nothing to her. Because it _should_ mean nothing. Someone like _him,_ a bigoted conservative, should mean _less than nothing_ to her, but, _God,_ there’s something about him that, baffinlignly seems to just _captivate_ her. 

****

She feels him gently gliding his hands up and down either side of her torso, and then one hand comes up to brush her hair over her shoulder so he can kiss her neck, and she closes her eyes, desperately trying to pretend that it’s someone, _anyone_ else making her feel like _this._

****

One of his hands firmly grips her waist while the other grasps his cock, and then he slowly guides herself inside of her and _fuck,_ he’s so big, she’s halfway worried he won’t even fit, and she gasps as he eases into her, stretching her out, filling her up until he’s all the way inside of her, to the root.

****

Her breathing is jagged and as she feels his hands coming up to cup her breasts and fondle them, and his hands are so large and warm against her skin. 

****

“ _Rey_ ,” his voice is a low, hoarse whisper when he speaks, and all she can manage is a small whimper as she feels him starting to move in her, slowly increasing the rhythm of his thrusts. “You feel so good,” he murmurs, and Rey swears under her breath. 

****

She squeezes her eyes shut as tightly as she possibly can, trying to focus more on the pure, raw physical sensation of being fucked, and less on how she relishes in the sound of his voice whispering things like _that_ in her ear. 

  
All she’s aware of is the sound of their mingled, ragged breaths, her heartbeat blazing in her ears, the slick slap of skin on skin as he thrusts into her.

****

And the way he touches her becomes less delicate and more frenzied; his fingers are _raking_ , clawing at her with abandon, like he’s come completely undone and scarcely knows what to do with his hands. 

****

“Oh that’s, _yes_ , _please_ , don’t stop, Ben—”

****

“Rey— feels so good, so good—” he croons, sounding almost drunk from the way he slurs these words against her ear, his breath hot on her neck. 

****

While one hand continues to firmly grip her waist, another slides forward, and his fingertips find her clit, making her cry out.

****

“Come for me Rey,” his voice is so low and raw it’s practically a growl, “Need you to come for me.”

****

Rey groans, throwing her head back as she grips her desk, needing something to steady herself.

  
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, that feels so good, _fuck_ , Ben, don’t stop,” she sputters as his thrusts become more frantic, more frenzied and less measured as his fingers swirl around her clit and, _fuck,_ it feels so good it’s almost too much, and she’s so close, _so close_ —

****

Her orgasm floods over her suddenly and forcefully, an explosion of blinding white hot pleasure coursing through her veins and she’s only vaguely aware of his teeth sinking into her shoulder as he comes, scarcely registering the sudden flood of warmth inside of her as he fills her up with his cum, breathing out her name into her ear.

****

He lingers inside her for a moment, and he’s softly kissing her neck again, trembling fingertips brushing along her torso, his voice hazy with pleasure as he murmurs her name affectionately.

****

_God, can he stop doing things like that?_

****

He withdraws himself from her, and she immediately starts collecting her clothes, trying to throw them on as quickly as possible while avoiding his eyes, even though she can feel his gaze on her.

****

He slowly starts to dress himself as well, and when she’s sliding on her blazer, she finally turns to look at him.

****

“Ben...” she starts to say quietly.

****

Now he’s the one avoiding eye contact.

****

“This never happened. I know,” he says distantly. He tugs on his suit coat and tightens his tie forcefully and then leans down to pick up his briefcase. “Have a nice evening, Miss Johnson,” he mutters icily, but his voice cracks when he says her name.

****

And then he sees himself out, and as the door shuts behind him, Rey has never felt stupider or more disappointed in herself in her entire life.

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

**From** : Padmé Amidala < padméamidala@gmail.com >

**Sent** : April 10, 2020 4:46 PM

 **To:** Benjamin Solo < bsolo@wsj.com >

**Subject** : Re: Gentrification

Dear Benji,

Sorry it took me so long to write back, my arthritis has been acting up so it’s hard to type. I hope you don’t think I was ignoring you. It was so wonderful to hear from you, and I hope we can talk more soon.

When more higher-income individuals and corporations move into low-income neighborhoods, taking advantage of the low rents. The more of these cool new restaurants and bars crop up in these communities, the more high income individuals move into the area, and it becomes a more desirable place to live, so rent prices increase as a result. The problem with this is working class individuals end up being displaced from their communities, and this phenomenon disproportionately affects communities of color. One way to help prevent this from happening is implementing rent control policies to ensure people are not forced out of their communities. 

I would be happy to answer any other questions you have, Benji. I think it’s great that you’re doing this story.

I’m looking forward to reading the article, as always! You’ve always been such a great writer. I’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished, and I hope to see more articles on progressive topics again soon. 

Your mother says hello.

All my love,

Nonna Padmé 

* * *

**To** : Padmé Amidala < padméamidala@gmail.com >

**Sent** : April 10, 2020 11:46 PM

 **From:** Benjamin Solo < bsolo@wsj.com >

 **Subject** : RE: Recent articles

  
  


Dear Nonna,

Thank you, that was helpful. The article will be online in the morning, I hope you like it.

Also...I was wondering if by any chance you can send me mom’s current number? 

Love,

Ben

* * *

  
  


* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

**_all the things Rey wishes she could say to Ben but won’t:_ **

**__ **

**__ **

* * *

**_One week later, Jannah notices Rey has been in a bad mood_ **

**__ **

**__ **

**__ **

* * *

* * *

“Rey?” he calls out, but she doesn’t reply. He feels weird just walking through her apartment searching around for her, like he’s somehow intruding, but when he passes her bedroom, she sees she’s curled up in her bed, fast asleep. She looks _very_ cute when she’s asleep, with her hair all mussed up and a peaceful expression on her face, and he feels a surge of warmth in his chest.

He quietly walks over and sits at the edge of her bed and gently places a hand on her shoulder. She stirs groggily and makes a very adorable sleepy sound, and then, suddenly, she bolts upright.

“Ben!” she exclaims, her face reddening in embarrassment, “God, I’m sorry I —” She yawns, and her voice sounds groggy when she speaks again, “I fell asleep.”

“It’s okay,” he says softly, smiling at her.

*

She yawns again. “I’m sorry, you came all this way, and now I can barely keep my eyes open. Work has just been so—” she yawns again, “So...hectic....lately,” she manages sleepily.

And then she does something she definitely wouldn’t do if she wasn’t so tired—she lets her head fall against his chest, collapsing into him, and she feels him wrap his arms around her. She yawns again. “It’s okay if you want to go — I know why you came over obviously — but since I’m just falling asleep now, you can come over another time—” her voice trails off again, her eyelids feeling heavy.

“What do you mean? I didn’t come over just because — Rey, I came over because I wanted to see you.”  
  


And then she says something she _knows_ she will be mad at herself for in the morning, something she definitely wouldn’t say under normal circumstances, but she’s just so _tired_ she doesn’t have the energy to overthink things like she normally does, and it just feels so _nice_ to be wrapped up in a warm pair of arms when she’s so exhausted and has been so stressed. So she lets herself say it, knowing she will regret it just as much as she’ll probably regret texting him in the first place, but at this moment, she doesn’t care. 

“Oh,” she says quietly, “Okay. You can — you can stay if you want, then.”

“I’d love to,” is the last thing she hears before she drifts back to sleep in his arms. 

* * *

The next morning Rey stirs, her face brushing against the soft fabric of a navy blue sweater at the same moment she registers that she’s wrapped up in a pair of broad, muscular arms.

She bolts upright suddenly. Ben mumbles something groggily, reaching out to pull her back to him. 

She scurries to cover herself with a blanket when she realizes she’s dressed only in a black lace bra and panties, having initially had _very different_ expectations for how she wanted last night to go. 

She slides out of bed as quietly as possible and scrambles to find some clothes to put on, eventually settling on a pair of leggings and a t-shirt that had been laying on her floor.

Finally, she tip-toes over to Ben and shakes his shoulder gently, clearing her throat.

Ben’s eyes flutter open and his lips twist into a smile so soft and adoring that it sends warmth flooding into her chest like spring sunshine. No one has ever smiled at her the way he does.

It scares her.

“Good morning, Rey,” he murmurs contentedly, drowsily slurring his words together slightly, and he reaches out to touch her arm, but she jerks away, her eyes darting to the ceiling.

He might have apologized for being a jerk to her, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s a _conservative_ and his values so completely clash with her own. And while she truly thinks he doesn’t believe those things deep down, he still so stubbornly refuses to even consider going back to writing about the social justice issues he used to advocate for so strongly. Maybe he really does believe in all those fucked up conservative ideals after all.

And even if he didn’t...she doesn’t know how she feels about being looked at the way he’s looking at her right now, like she’s the only person that has ever existed. It triggers a familiar flutter of panic in her chest.

“I, um— ” she stammers as she avoids meeting his eyes, “I have a lot to do today, so um...you should, um, probably get going. I’ll text you again on another night when I’m not falling asleep, alright?”

She meets his eyes again, and she watches as he stiffens, a glimmer of hurt in his dark eyes.

“Oh,” he says quietly, “Right. Of course.”

He sighs and sits up.

“Have a good day I guess, good luck with the work you need to get done,” he says distantly, and now he’s the one avoiding eye contact.

“Right. Thanks,” Rey mutters. When he stands up, he turns to her for a brief moment, a soft plea in his eyes, as if he’s waiting for her to change her mind, but she says nothing, just letting her eyes dart to the floor.

He opens his mouth as if he’s about to say something, but then he closes it. He swallows thickly and mumbles a goodbye, and she watches as he wordlessly turns to leave her bedroom, walks through her living room, and out the door.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick note to clarify a political thing in this update because a few people messaged me about it when I was writing this on Twitter:
> 
> Mike Pence was the Vice President of the United States at the time I originally wrote this (and also the worst but that’s another story.) In the American political system, Presidential candidates pick a VP to run with, and when you vote for the President, you’re voting for the person they picked to be VP as well. Therefore, anyone who voted for Trump also voted for/supported Mike Pence.
> 
> So, because Rey knows Ben voted for Trump, she’s calling him out for supporting someone that picked such a homophobic Vice President.
> 
> I think it’s also confusing because she’s drunk, of course, and just kind of launched into a rant, but yeah, I hope this clears things up and remember you can always message me if you need clarification on the political content in this story!

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

**_Rey has had way too much tequila_ **

* * *

“You left your door unlocked,” Ben says as he opens the door, clutching a bottle of red Gatorade in his free hand, “You shouldn’t do that.”

“You took too long,” Rey announces with a pout, her words slurring together. She is wrapped up in a blanket on her couch with tousled hair, smudged makeup, and her dress riding up to her thighs, which are clad in black opaque tights. 

Ben chuckles. 

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” he says as he sits down beside her. 

“ _Hmph_ ,” Rey mutters, letting herself collapse against his chest.

He gently rubs her back.

“Sit up so you can drink this,” he tells her as he opens the Gatorade bottle.

Rey groans.

“I don’t liiiike Gatorade,” She whines, sitting up with a cross expression on her face.

Ben puts the Gatorade bottle in her hand.

“Drink it. You’ll thank me in the morning.”

Rey scowls at him.

“Fine. I will drink it, but _only_ because you are cute, Benjamin.”

He smirks at her, smoothing out her bedraggled hair.

  
“You think I’m cute?”

Rey swallows a big gulp of Gatorade and nods. 

“Yes, but I don’t _like_ you, thas the proh-lem,” she slurs. “You voted for a _bad man_ who has done bad things that hurt people I care about. Do you know who _Mike Pence_ is, Benjamin?”

“Yes, I know who Mike Pence is, Rey.”

“Well, he’s a very, very bad man. My very best friends are American and gay and do you know what Mike Pence thinks about gay people? He thinks they should have conversion therapy, he’s a _bad, bad, man_ and he doesn’t like my friends because he’s _mean_ and _bad_ and _I hate him_.” 

“You’re right,” Ben says simply, and Rey is taken aback. 

“Why you _lying to me_ , Benjamin?” she demands.

“I am not lying. You’re right. Mike Pence is a bad man.”

Rey scoffs.

“Then _why_ did you vote for _Donald Trump_ , he wants to have a _wall_ , he hates immigrants, he would have deported Miss Kanata too, he’s such a bad man, and I like you because you are cute and you’ve been very nice to me lately... but I _can’t_ like you because you vote for _bad men,”_ she says pointedly. 

“I shouldn’t have, though,” he says quietly. “I was wrong.” 

“Oh,” Rey says simply, unsure how to respond. She expected him to argue with her, to try to defend himself. “You’re jus....you’re jus _saying_ that, Benjamin.”

“No, I’m not just saying that, Rey. It’s true. I _was_ wrong. And you’ve helped me to realize that.”

Rey sets down her Gatorade on the coffee table and starts shaking her head.

“No, no, no, no, no, you _can’t_ say that, _Benjamin_ , because then I won’t have a reason to pretend I don’t have feelings for you anymore,” she blurts out, and then she covers her mouth with her hands. “Don’ tell anybody I said tha’, mkay? It’s a _seeeecret_ ,” she adds, giggling. 

“You’re secret’s safe with me,” he says, and he’s smiling at her, but his voice is quiet and distant. He knows she doesn’t mean what she’s saying. He knows she’s drunk and won’t even remember any of this in the morning, and they’ll be back to square one. 

“Nobody should ever ge’ involv’ with me, I’m bad news, Benjamin, _bad, bad news_ ,” she declares drunkenly, shaking her head. 

“Rey, what do you mean? What are you talking about? Why would you ever say something like that?” he asks, concern flickering in his dark eyes as he gently reaches out and runs his hand down the side of her arm.

“Tha’s why this is so good, what we have, because I finally found the one person I never hav’ ‘oo worry ‘bout catch feelings for me,” Rey says will a grin.

“Rey...” Ben says softly, feeling tears prickle in his eyes. 

“No one would ever fall in love with someone like me anyway,” Rey slurs drowsily, letting her head fall against Ben’s chest again. 

“Don’t say that, Rey,” he says as his fingers comb through her hair, “Don’t ever say that. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.” And there’s something else he so desperately wishes he could tell her, of course, but instead he just says: “You need to finish your Gatorade, sweetheart.”

Rey sighs.

  
“You’re so _bosssyyyyy_ , Benjamin,” she says with a giggle as she sits up, “I like when you’re _bosssyyy,”_ she adds, turning to him as she raises her eyebrows.

“Rey. Drink your gatorade,” he says firmly.

“ _Fiiiiiine_ , jeez, _Benjamin_ ,” she mutters, and then she picks up the Gatorade and starts to chug it down. She stops about halfway through and glares at him.

“Why are you always staaaaring at me, you _weirdo_ ,” she says, narrowing her eyes at him.

“You’re nice to look at,” Ben says with a shrug.

“Are you saying I’m _prettyyyy,_ Benjamin?” Rey demands.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” he murmurs, placing a kiss on her forehead, which makes her giggle again, each giggle punctuated with a small hiccup.

“Drink the rest of the Gatorade,” he tells her and she sighs and does as he asks, finishing up the bottle and setting it down on the coffee table.

“I...sleep....” she drawls as she slumps down against his chest again. He chuckles.

“Yes, you sleep, sweetheart,” he says, gently rubbing her back with one hand while the other gingerly cards through her hair.

“Goo’ ni’ Ben-a-min,” she mumbles, tucking up her legs and snuggling up closer to him as she wraps her arms around his waist, “I’m glad you’re here.”

  
  


* * *

Rey wakes up in her bed the next morning, a dull ache throbbing at her temples as the sun beats down through her window. She sits up with a groan, rubbing her forehead and trying to remember what happened the night before. She remembers going to the pub with Kaydel, Rose, and Jannah, and she remembers ordering several tequila shots, but everything after that is a blur. 

She has a headache and she’s just a bit nauseous, but she’s not _quite_ as hungover as she would expect. With another groan, she pulls herself out of bed to get some water.

As she walks through the living room, she nearly jumps when she sees Ben’s large frame awkwardly curled up on her couch, which is altogether too small for him to be sleeping on. 

_What is he doing here?_

She tentatively tip-toes over to him and gives his shoulders a gentle shake.

Ben stirs, squinting his eyes against the bright sunlight pouring through the windows, but then his face softens when he registers that Rey is standing in front of him.

“Good morning,” he murmurs sleepily, “How are you feeling?”

“What are you doing here?” Rey demands, “Did we...?”

Ben shakes his head, his eyes still heavy with sleep as he suppresses a yawn. 

“No, of course not, you were too drunk,” he replies.

“Then why were you here in the first place?” Rey asks, confused.

“You asked me to come over,” Ben says simply as he sits up and rubs his eyes.

She only ever invites him over for one reason, so she is baffled as to why she would ever invite him over for any reason other than _that._  
  


“ _What?_ Why would I ask you to come over?” she asks sharply.

She can’t quite pinpoint the expression on Ben’s face, but it almost looks like hurt.

“I mean, you very drunkenly texted me that you wanted me to come over and fuck you, but I just came over to make sure you were okay because you seemed really drunk based on how you were texting,” he explains, “So I brought you some Gatorade and then you fell asleep on the couch, but I thought you would be uncomfortable there, so I brought you to your bed.”

So that’s why she’s not as hungover — he brought her Gatorade, which is... _weird_. She has no idea why he would want to do something so thoughtful for her, or why he would ever want to see her for any reason outside of meaningless casual sex. She especially wonders why he would want to see her when she was an annoying drunken mess. 

“Oh...” Rey says slowly, “But why did you sleep out here? That could _not_ have been comfortable,” she says, raising her eyebrows as she takes in the sight of his large body squished onto her small sofa with a bemused half-smirk.

He shrugs.

“I didn’t want to sleep in your bed because I thought it might be alarming for you to wake up next to a man you don’t remember inviting over,” he says simply.

“Oh...right. Um. That was considerate. Thanks,” Rey mutters.

“Of course,” He says with a half-hearted smile.

There’s a long, awkward pause. Rey fidgets with her tangled hair and avoids meeting his eyes.

Ben sighs.

“I know. You’ll text me,” he says quietly.

“Yeah,” Rey says flatly, “I need to go take a shower and stuff anyway.”

Ben holds her gaze for a long moment, and his eyes go glassy, as if he’s holding back tears, which wouldn’t make any sense.

  
Maybe he has allergies.

Ben sighs and stands up.

“Bye then, I guess,” he manages.

“Yeah, um...bye.”

And then he turns and leaves.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for mentions of depression and panic attacks in this chapter, as well as references to Snoke manipulating Ben

**_A few days later_ **

* * *

* * *

* * *

**May 2, 2020 8:32 am**

Less than a year ago, 23-year-old Rey Johnson was still working double shifts at a diner. Now, she represents the constituency of Vauxhall in the House of Commons.

Johnson, who is being heralded as the Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez of the U.K., ran on a platform promoting equality, social justice, environmentalism and immigrants’ rights.

She said the current political climate is what motivated her to run for office.

“Seeing everything that was going on in the world, the way bigots were being emboldened by the likes of Donald Trump and Boris Johnson being elected to the highest office, I couldn’t stand idly by. I had to help in some way. I had to do something,” Johnson said.

But Johnson’s interest in politics stems back to her teen years, when she became passionate about protecting immigrants after a beloved teacher was deported suddenly and unexpectedly.

“I decided to study political science at [university] because I wanted to work to make the U.K. a safer place for immigrants,” Johnson said.

Her passion for immigrants’ rights is part of what makes her so vehemently opposed to conservative platforms like Brexit, because she believes Britain’s exit from the European union will only worsen xenophobia in the U.K. Her dedication to immigrants’ rights is so strong that she plans to pursue a career as an immigrants’ rights attorney when her term as an MP is over.

Johnson said the biggest challenge she faces as a young M.P. is disrespect from other Members of Parliament who feel her young age makes her underqualified for her position.

“I may be young, but I am very educated on the issues; I studied at Cambridge and what I lack in experience I make up in knowledge and passion,” Johnson said.

Her strong belief in the importance of her work is palpable in the way her whole face lights up when she discusses her passion for social justice.

“I believe wholeheartedly in what I do, and even though sometimes my work feels like an uphill battle, I know in my heart I am making a difference, and that’s what matters,” Johnson said.

But she also emphasized that her work is not about her.

“This isn’t about me, it’s about the bigger picture, about helping my constituents who I care about so much,” Johnson said.

And her constituents largely agree.

“I finally feel like there’s someone in office representing me and taking my concerns seriously,” said Jessika Pava, a Vauxhall constituent. “Especially as a member of the LGBTQ community, I feel like she does everything she can to advocate for our rights and protect the strong LGBTQ history in Vauxhall.” 

Johnson has often emphasized the importance of preserving the “vibrant history” of the LGBTQ community in her constituency.

“As an ally I feel it’s particularly important to protect this aspect of my community, particularly from the growing effects of gentrification,” Johnson said, “We need to preserve these safe spaces, and I will always do everything I can to advocate for my community, especially the most vulnerable members.”

While Johnson is new to Parliament, she has been working to protect the rights of the most vulnerable communities long before she was elected to public office.

“Rey has always been passionate about being educated about the issues, she would always get caught reading _The Times_ and watching BBC News on her phone during shifts,” said Tallissan Lintra, one of Johnson’s former co-workers at the Niima Diner. “And she was always participating in some kind of protest or letter writing campaign, and always trying to get the rest of the staff involved. She’s one of the most passionate and driven people I’ve ever met.”

Johnson said she takes her position as a Member of Parliament seriously, constantly stressing that her work is not about her, but about the constituents she represents.

“I really believe public service is my calling in life and I will always do whatever I can to be an ally and an advocate to those who need it most,” Johnson said.

* * *

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_**What Ben almost says:** _

_**** _

* * *


	9. Chapter 9

* * *

**From** : Rey Johnson < rjohnson@parliament.uk .>

**Sent** : May 7, 2020 9:02 AM

**To:** Benjamin Solo < bsolo@wsj.com >

**Subject** : Brexit articles

Ben,

Here’s the links to the articles I was telling you about:

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/31/world/europe/brexit-remainers.html

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-51194363

P.S. You left your jacket at my flat the other day.

**Rey Johnson**

Member of Parliament for Vauxhall

Tel.  020 1234 5678

**From** : Benjamin Solo < bsolo@wsj.com >

**Sent** : May 7, 2020 9:03 AM

**To:** Rey Johnson < rjohnson@parliament.uk .>

**Subject** : RE: Brexit articles

Thank you for sending these articles, they’re really helpful. And thank you again for helping me with this. I appreciate it so much, Rey.

P.S. Oh, yeah, I was a bit distracted that morning....

**From** : Rey Johnson < rjohnson@parliament.uk .>

**Sent** : May 7, 2020 9:04 AM

**To:** Benjamin Solo < bsolo@wsj.com >

**Subject** : RE: RE: Brexit articles

Hahaha yeah, that was my bad, I’m sorry...

**Rey Johnson**

Member of Parliament for Vauxhall

Tel.  020 1234 5678

* * *

* * *

* * *

Rey is smiling nervously as she shows Ben the pizza she made. Well, he wouldn’t have known it was pizza if she didn’t tell him —scrambled eggs come to mind— but she’s smiling so earnestly he doesn’t have the heart to tell her that.

“Wow it looks...great,” he manages, but then he looks at her and smiles, “Thank you, Rey,” he says sincerely as a gentle smile tugs at his lips.

The pizza is already half gone, but it looks like the slices were torn off in a haphazard way, and he eyes the mess quizzically. 

“I um...I don’t have a pizza cutter or anything, I just have a couple plastic butter knives I brought back from McDonald’s one time,” Rey explains. “Hold on.”

He watches as she retrieves a couple of paper plates from her cupboard. She’s dressed simply in dark jeans and a red sweater that’s sliding off one of her shoulders, her hair tossed in a louse bun, but her beauty still takes his breath away, even more so than it had on those days she got all dressed up for their interviews.

She’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, and he’s so hopelessly in love with her even though she’ll probably never feel the same way for him.

He watches as she tugs at the monstrosity she calls a pizza, her face scrunching up adorably as she manages to tear off a slice. She places it on the paper plate, and then she smiles eagerly as she offers it to him, as though she’s very pleased with herself. 

It’s adorable.

Ben smiles.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he says as he leans in to kiss her cheek, and he can feel her skin flushing hot against her lips as she blushes.

Just then, Ben feels his phone buzzing in his pocket. He pulls it out and lets out an exasperated sigh.

> **Andrew Snoke:** _ I need to see you in my office immediately.  _

“What is it?” Rey asks, her brows furrowing in concern.

“Snoke,” he mutters, before turning his phone off and putting it back in his pocket.

“What’s his problem?” Rey says irritably as she rips off a slice of pizza for herself and places it on a paper plate, “It’s after nine p.m., can't whatever it is wait until the morning?   
  


Just then, Ben hears Rey’s phone vibrate. She sets down her plate and fishes her phone out of her pocket, sighing and rolling her eyes in frustration.

“Wow, we can’t have a moment’s peace, can we?” 

He watches as she reads a text on her phone, her eyes shifting from concern to annoyance, before finally turning off her phone and setting it on her kitchen counter.

> **Jannah:** _ Rey, you need to call me right now. It’s urgent. _
> 
> **Rey:** _ Are you okay? _
> 
> **Jannah:** _ Yeah I’m fine, this is about you. And it’s urgent. We need to talk. Right now. _
> 
> **Rey:** _ Is this a work thing? I’m kind of busy right now. _
> 
> **Jannah:** _ Yes, but like I said, it’s urgent, Rey. Please call me.  _
> 
>   
>    
>    
> 

“It was Jannah with a work thing. We can’t catch a break tonight apparently.”

“Do you need to call her back?” Ben asks, “I don’t mind.”

“No, no, whatever it is can wait,” Rey assures him as she starts walking toward the couch and he follows closely behind her. 

“Um, just so you know,” she mumbles through a bite of pizza before swallowing it as they sit down, “Just so you know, um...this doesn’t, um... _ change _ anything, just so we’re clear. I just had some extra pizza, that’s all. This isn’t going to be, like, a regular thing. I just don’t want you to get the wrong impression.”

Ben remembers everything Rey had told him the night she was drunk, and his heart starts to break as he begins to wonder if she’ll ever be ready to open up to him. If she’ll ever know how much she deserves to be loved.

An empty, half-hearted smile flickers across his lips.

“Right,” he says quietly, “Of course.”

* * *

She’s been seeing it all along, but it seemed impossible before, because she had assumed he hated her. But now that she knows he’s had a change of heart about his views  — that he’s had a change of heart because of  _ her —  _ she realizes maybe she hasn’t been imagining the hurt in his eyes whenever she pushes him away. She realizes that maybe, just  _ maybe  _ it wasn’t just allergies when she saw his eyes getting glassy the other day.

And she feels her breath catch in her throat at the thought — and it’s not just because it scares her to death, even though it does  — it’s more so because it hurts  _ her  _ to know he’s hurting, even though she knows if he knew her,  _ really  _ knew her, he would understand their no strings attached arrangement is for the best.

But she hates the pain that’s flickering in his dark eyes, hates the way it makes her chest ache, and all she can think in this moment is that she needs to make it better.

“Unless,” she starts to say, her voice coming out shaky and quiet, and he glances up at her, a glimmer of hope flashing in his eyes as they scan her face in disbelief, trying to understand what’s happening, trying to make sense of what she’s saying.

“Unless?” he echoes.

“Unless...unless you’d like to have pizza together more often,” she manages.

And then his whole face lights up in the most beautiful smile she has ever seen, but she barely has time to register it before his lips are on hers, kissing her fiercely.

There’s a teasing smirk on his face when he pulls back from the kiss.

“Maybe we could order takeout pizza next time, though,” he says.

Rey scoffs, her jaw dropping, but she’s suppressing a grin.

“Are you saying my cooking is bad? You absolute  _ arse _ ,” she exclaims playfully as she grabs one of the throw pillows on her sofa and gently whacks him with it.

“Oh, you’ll pay for that, Miss Johnson,” he says with a smirk as he sets his pizza down on the coffee table, grabs another pillow and lightly hits her with it and soon they’re in a full-blown pillow fight, until finally they fall backwards in a fit of giggles, and Rey rests her head against Ben’s chest with a contented sigh. 

“I like having pizza with you, Ben,” she says softly, absentmindedly tracing a pattern on his chest with her fingertips.

He kisses the top of her head and lets one of his hands gently run through her hair, and it feels so nice that she snuggles in closer to him.

“I like having pizza with you too,” he murmurs, “Even if it is terrible pizza.”

Rey giggles.

“You’re so  _ rude _ , Benjamin,” she says teasingly, “I can’t stand you.” 

She feels him smiling against the top of her head.

“I know, sweetheart.”

And as she feels him squeezing his arms around her, she’s realizing that maybe for the first time in her life she wouldn’t mind having someone to get pizza with. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The magazine cover in this chapter was made by [Lena!](http://twitter.com/bensoloswhore)
> 
> Trigger warning for sex crime, revenge porn

**_The next morning..._ **

**__ **

**__ **

**__ **

* * *

Ben wakes up to Rey sleeping soundly against his chest, her arms wrapped around him. Most nights he leaves right after they have sex, or he’ll try to leave before she wakes up.

Except for the night she was really tired and the night she was really drunk, she has always been very opposed to the idea of  _ sleeping  _ with him in the most innocent sense of the phrase. Which is why waking up with her sleeping so peacefully and contentedly in his arms nearly brings tears to his eyes. 

Eventually he’ll have to turn on his phone and check to see what Snoke wanted last night — and to see if he still has a job, because he knows Snoke will not be pleased that he ignored him. But that can wait. He just wants to make this moment last as long as possible.

After a while, he feels Rey start to stir and she glances up at him with soft, sleepy eyes.

“Hi,” she says softly.

“Hi,” Ben murmurs in reply as she lifts up her head to kiss him. 

And it occurs to him how much he would like to wake up to her kisses every morning for the rest of his life. 

“How did you sleep, sweetheart?” 

She smiles at him, and then she yawns, and he wonders how it’s possible that every single mundane thing she does can be so impossibly  _ cute. _

“Mmm, I slept well,” she answers, “I didn’t think you would still be here when I woke up. I’m glad you are, though.”

She lets her head fall back against his chest again, and he holds her close, breathing in the scent of her shampoo all floral and sweet. 

“I’m hungry,” Rey says after a long while, “I’m going to go get something to eat, do you want me to get you anything? I mean, the only breakfast food I have is cereal, which is probably for the best, since you already know what a  _ terrible  _ cook I am,” she adds with a smirk.

Ben chuckles.

“Cereal sounds wonderful.”

She kisses him again, and warmth floods through his chest, and he loves her  _ so much,  _ and he hopes more than anything he’ll be able to tell her someday. But only when he’s sure she’s ready. Which might be never, but he’s grateful to have had the privilege of loving her, even if she’ll never feel the same way, even if they aren’t meant to last.

But he hopes more than anything that they are. And he hopes more than anything that someday she’ll know how much she deserves to be loved.

“I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere,” she adds with a grin. He watches as she gets out of bed and pulls on her light blue robe that’s hanging on the back of her door, and then she heads out to the kitchen. 

Ben decides he should probably just check his phone and get it over with already while she’s getting the cereal. He scoops his jeans off the floor, retrieves the phone from the back pocket and turns it on.

He’s not prepared for the absolute barrage of notifications.

He has dozens of missed calls not only from Snoke, but also from Armie and unknown numbers. He also has messages from his mom.

_ What the fuck is going on right now? _

He feels like time slows down when he unlocks his phone and starts to piece together what happened, everything a blur. There’s messages from Armie and his mom telling him his iCloud account got hacked. And then he sees the picture of  _ The Sun _ that Armie texted him, and the world completely stops moving.

Ben knows Rey left her phone in the kitchen last night, and he hopes to God she hasn’t turned it on yet. He scurries to dress himself and makes his way into the kitchen.

And much to his horror, Rey is staring at her phone with an unreadable expression on her face.

“How did this happen?” is all Rey manages to say, her voice cold and distant as her eyes remain glued to her phone screen. 

“Someone hacked my iCloud account,” Ben explains quietly.

Rey draws in a sharp breath, still avoiding meeting his eyes.

“ _ God _ ,” Rey hisses, darting her eyes to the floor, “I’m so fucking stupid. This whole thing was a huge mistake. We never should’ve crossed this line, Mr. Solo.”

“Rey—” Ben says, his voice cracking, “Rey, I’m so, so sorry that this happened, but I will never, ever regret meeting you or what we’ve shared and—”

“Please just go, Mr. Solo,” she says icily, “Lose my number. Let’s just pretend this stupid fucking lapse in judgement never happened.”

He opens his mouth to speak once more but then thinks better of it as tears begin to pour down his cheeks.

“Right. Of course. As you wish, Miss Johnson,” he says quietly. And then he leaves.

And his heart completely shatters. 

* * *

**_Rey's Spotify feed :(_ **

**__ **

**__ **

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* * *

Rey sighs dramatically when she sees Kaydel’s text.

“Oh my God, I’m coming, I’m coming, relax,” she calls out irritably, but her expression softens when she opens the door and sees her two best friends standing in her doorway carrying wine and jumbo sized bags of chocolate.

“You don’t have to talk about anything if you’re not ready to,” Rose says, “I know it’s all very fresh. So we brought wine and chocolate.”

“Rose Tico, you are the love of my life,” Rey says as her face melts into a smile.

“Hey, she’s taken,” Kaydel teases. “Also, Rosie tried to convince me you can’t have wine in the middle of the day but I told her that the circumstances definitely warrant day drinking.”

“I love you guys,” Rey says, “And I’m very glad you convinced her, Kaydel,” Rey adds as she snatches up one of the wine bottles with a smirk.

They follow Rey into the kitchen, where she procures a corkscrew and begins trying to open the wine while Rose sets the chocolate down on the table. 

“Jannah would be here if she could, of course, but she obviously has um...a lot of work to do,” Rose explains, “Also, she said she’s sorry for how she spoke to you over text earlier.”

“But only because Rose told her she should apologize,” Kaydel chimes in.

“ _ Kay _ ,” Rose mutters under her breath.

“What?” Kaydel replies, shrugging as she snatches a bag of candy off the table and opens it, “I’m just being honest. You kind of can’t blame her for being a little pissed. But I, for one, find the whole situation very entertaining and I think Rey is actually iconic.”

Rose rolls her eyes.

“Please ignore my girlfriend,” Rose says, turning to Rey.

“Oh trust me, I am  _ well  _ versed in the art of Ignoring Kaydel,” Rey says with a smirk as she pulls the cork out of the wine. 

“Oh please, you both love me,” Kaydel says, her mouth full of a Kit-Kat bar.

“We do, babe. Even if you are the most annoying person I know,” Rose replies with a teasing grin, giving Kaydel a kiss on the forehead.

“I don’t have wine glasses,” Rey admits as she goes fumbling through her cupboards, “I hope these are fine,” she adds, placing a pink polka dot mug, a Red Solo cup, and a turquoise colored glass. 

“Hey, as long as you’re serving us alcohol, I’m not complaining,” Kaydel replies.

Rey fills each cup to the brim with wine and once Rose and Kaydel have taken a cup, Rey clears her throat dramatically.

“I hearby declare this the official celebration of  _ MEGHAN FUCKING MARKLE WEARING A KAYDEL CONNIX EXCLUSIVE DESIGN,”  _ Rey exclaims with a grin, before holding her cup out in front of her, “To Kaydel,” she says triumphantly and Rose grins. 

“Yes, to my amazing girlfriend,” Rose chimes in. 

“No offense but Rey Johnson, I would literally die for you,” Kaydel says, and then they clink their cups with several enthusiastic cries of “ _ cheers _ .”

“And how would you like to celebrate this momentous occasion?” Rey asks Kaydel with a smirk once they’ve all taken a sip of their wine.

“Oh, we’re absolutely getting drunk and watching Ru Paul’s Drag Race.”

* * *

By the time they’re all sitting on her sofa watching re-runs of Ru Paul’s Drag Race, Rey’s mind drifts to the night before, when she and Ben were giggling and getting into a pillow fight on this same couch, completely unaware of what was waiting for them the next morning. 

It was such a small thing — telling him she would get pizza with him sometimes — but for her it was a  _ huge _ , terrifying step. It was the first time she ever let a relationship delve into  _ real  _ territory, and it was one of the scariest things she’s ever done.

And this morning just solidified her belief that letting things get serious is  _ always  _ a mistake.

* * *

* * *

**_A text Ben almost sends but deletes_ **

**__ **

* * *

**_What Rey almost texts Ben_ **

**__ **

**__ **

* * *

**_One Week Later_ **

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**_Something happy for a change: After Meghan Markle wore her design, Kaydel’s followers shot up, she got verified, and she got featured in Elle Magazine_ **

**__ **

**__ **

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	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am aware that in real life _The Times_ editorial page leans to the right, but in this universe it leans to the left

* * *

**_After her night with her friends, Rey is very drunk and not aware that Ben is probably just sleeping :(_ **

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**ONE WEEK LATER**

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_**A message Ben types out and doesn't send** _

_**** _

_**** _

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	12. Chapter 12

* * *

* * *

Ben waits with bated breath after he texts her that he’s at her apartment. 

When she opens the door, seeing her face again feels like coming up for air, like he’s been drowning all this time and she’s finally here, with him, his anchor, his home.

And when she smiles at him, _oh,_ it’s like warm sunshine after a cruel winter. 

“Ben,” she murmurs his name as a smile twitches at the corners of her lips, and warmth floods through his chest at the sound of her voice, at the look on her face, at just _her._

“Um — do you want to come inside?” she asks, and he realizes he’s just standing there staring at her like an idiot.

“Oh um — right, of course,” he replies awkwardly as he follows her inside and shuts the door behind him and follows Rey to the living room. 

“I um — I wasn’t sure what kind of pizza you like, so I, um, I just ordered all different kinds—” she says, gesturing to a stack of pizza boxes on her coffee table, before glancing up at him nervously, “Um, there’s cheese of course, one with peppers and onions, one with pepperoni, one with olives and mushrooms, there’s a barbecue chicken one, there’s also—well, I don’t know if you’re pineapple on pizza person bu—”

He stops her mid-sentence with a kiss because no one has ever done anything so sweet and thoughtful for him in all his life, and also because they’ve wasted so much time not kissing each other these past few weeks and the thought of spending another moment with his mouth anywhere but pressed against hers feels agonizing. 

Although, there are other places on her that he would like to press his against mouth, too.

They kiss each other slowly, tentatively at first, but then it deepens into something more urgent and hungry.

He lets his hands tangle into her hair as she licks into his mouth and he groans, needing her, craving her, wanting more of her, _all_ of her.

He starts to tail kisses down her neck as his hands glide down the sides of her torso, along her back, everywhere at once, desperate to feel her, to take her in, to convince himself that _yes_ , this is, somehow, impossibly real. 

She leans her head back as he sucks at her pulse, all too eager to accommodate him, as if she’s been missing this just as much as he has.

* * *

They fall back against the couch, and he kisses her slowly, like he’s _savoring_ her. His hands are gentle and adoring as he strokes her cheek, another hand running along her torso, and then gliding down along her legs, clad in black tights under the short skirt she’s wearing. And with each press of his lips to her own and each gentle caress she can feel just how much he loves her. But this time, even though it still scares her to death, she doesn’t want to run from it anymore.

This time, she wants to drown in his love.

“Ben,” she murmurs, breaking the kiss. His darkened eyes scan her face.

“Yes, sweetheart?” he says gently.

Her cheeks flush red whenever he calls her _that._

“I missed you,” she tells him, reaching out to stroke his cheek. 

“I missed you too,” he echoes, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth, her jaw, and then her neck. “So much,” he murmurs against her throat.

“Ben, I need—” she tries to say, hazy with lust and something else that she can’t quite name yet, something that floods through her chest and courses through her veins every time she looks at him and nearly knocks her off her feet every time. 

“I know, sweetheart,” he croons, his hand gliding up the side of her leg, and she watches with wide eyes as his other hand comes up beneath her skirt, tugging her tights and her panties down to her ankles.

  
His hand glides back up under her skirt, and he lets one of his fingers glide along her folds, along the pink, slick hot wetness of her, and her back arches as she cries out.

“ _Ben_ ,” she moans.

“Already so wet for me,” he murmurs. He pauses briefly and his eyes somehow become even darker, a blazing, hungry desire glistening in them as he tugs her skirt down. “You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to do this for you,” he adds, his voice so soft it’s barely audible. 

“Do—do what—” she manages breathlessly, shoulders rising with the effort of her labored breaths as she gazes down at him on his knees between her spread legs.

A wolfish smile spreads across his lips. And he replies by _showing_ her what he has wanted so badly.

He puts his mouth on her cunt, his tongue gliding along her folds, and she cries out, one hand tangling into his thick shock of dark hair, the other grasping at one of the couch cushions for purchase.

He licks and sucks at her with a hungry, desperate fervor, intense resolve in his eyes as he holds her gaze and she’s so overwhelmed by the intimacy of it, a stark contrast from the way they usually are with each other when they fuck, when it used to just be nothing more than a rushed and desperate bid for release. 

Or at least that’s how she _wanted_ things to be, because she can’t pretend she hasn’t noticed all the ways Ben has tried to be so tender with her from the very first moment he touched her.

It scared her then. And it still does.

But she doesn’t want to hide from him anymore, so even though part of her wants to dart her eyes to the ceiling and avoid his gaze, things are different now. There were so many times she had shut her eyes tight while he fucked her and tried desperately to imagine it was someone, _anyone_ else.

But now, now she relishes in the fact that it’s Ben, _her_ Ben, making her feel this way and she wants to drown in his adoring gaze and the delicious sensation of his tongue inside her cunt.

He licks along her length and then slides a finger inside of her as he starts to suck at her clit with a hum of contentment that she can feel inside of her. 

And his name pours forth from her lips over and over again as she chases something she needs so badly, something only he can give her, crying out his name again and again, her voice bleating out in raspy whimpers until she is coming, the world melting away until there is nothing, there is only this, there is only _him_ still sucking at her through her orgasm, her heartbeat blazing in her ears, and she could drown in this moment. 

When he kisses her, she can taste herself on his lips and on his tongue.

He’s out of breath when he murmurs in her ear.

“You’re so pretty when you come for me,” he tells her, and she whimpers as he kisses the soft spot behind her ear. “ _Rey_ ,” he adds, an almost pained desperation in his voice, “I need to be inside of you.”

Rey bites her lip and looks up at him with wide, hungry eyes.

“Then let me take you to my bed,” she croons, before capturing his lips in a deep, passionate kiss.

* * *

She takes his hand and guides him to her room, and it’s strange how suddenly she feels a flutter of nervousness, as if they haven’t done this dozens of times.

But it feels different this time.

And Ben must be feeling similarly, because when she sits down on the bed, he remains awkwardly standing.

She tugs at his arm with a sly smirk.

“Benjamin. Come here.”

He swallows thickly.

  
“Right,” he murmurs, and they’re both smiling when their lips meet and they fall backwards together.

Ben starts tugging at her shirt. 

“Why are you still wearing this?” he asks with a playful half-smirk, and she grins as she helps him along, pulling her shirt over her head.

“I could ask the same of you,” she adds playfully, eyeing him, still fully dressed, and adorably, he _blushes,_ which fills Rey with a surge of delight and adoration. 

But then he does as she asks and pulls his shirt over his head, revealing the broad expanse of his muscular chest, and the sight of him laid bare makes her breath catch in her throat.

She bites her lower lip as she lets her finger tips glide across his chest, and then slowly up and down his arms, holding his gaze. His lips find hers again and she reaches down and starts fussing with the button and zipper on his jeans. He helps her along and finally he pulls them off, letting them join her shirt in a heap on the floor. 

His bare chest skims hers as he leans down again to kiss her. She can feel how hard his cock is straining against his boxers and she moans as he presses himself up against her.

She whines as she reaches down and pulls at the elastic of his boxers, pouting slightly in her dismay.

“Ben, _please_ —” 

He chuckles.

“Patience, sweetheart,” he murmurs, his soft, warm lips brushing against her cheek as he speaks before gingerly doing as she asks and taking them off.

Rey smirks.

  
“Better,” she says as he leans forward to kiss her again, and then when their lips meet, she hooks her legs around his and flips him onto his back.

His eyes widen, his cheeks flushing pink again, and her lips twitch into a smug smile as she licks her lips, her eyes scanning downward as she adoringly takes in every inch of him, his broad shoulders, the muscled expanse of his chest, the taught muscles of his abdomen. Her eyes finally settle on his cock, red and leaking and she wants— _needs_ to touch him. 

She lets her hand gingerly glide downward along his chest, keeping her eyes glued to his, watching the way his shoulders rise with the effort of his labored breaths, the way his full lips are parted.

He takes a sharp intake of breath that becomes a groan as her hand grasps around his cock, leaning forward to kiss his lips as she begins to stroke him. He moans into her mouth, his hands coming up to grasp her face as they kiss deeply with open mouths and tangled tongues.

“ _Rey_ ,” he groans, “Please — I need to be inside of you.”

She presses another long, slow kiss to his lips and she feels drunk on how badly she wants him, and then she grasps his cock again, drawing a sharp intake of breath from Ben. She guides him to her entrance before slowly easing him inside of her. Their eyes lock as he fills her bit by bit, Rey’s breath coming out in hitched gasps, and he wraps his arms around her, pulling her in closer until he’s fully inside of her, and she revels at the feeling of _fullness_ and the way he fits inside of her so perfectly like he was made to be there. And in that moment she feels like she could stay full of him forever.

“Fuck,” she hears Ben saying.

“I know,” she breathes out, her lips finding his as he murmurs her name, tangling his hands in her hair as she begins to move, his large hands gliding down her back, each touch a jolt of warm electricity, and a flood of emotions pours over her so potently she almost feels like she’s going to cry.

“ _Ben_ ,” she whimpers.

He presses up into her and she rocks against him.

“Yes, yes, don’t stop—” she clamors as his thrusts become more forceful.

His mouth finds one of her breasts while his thumb swirls around her clit and she throws her head back as she moans. His mouth moves to her other breast, sucking a bruise onto it, and she cries out even louder.

“I love the sounds you make for me, sweetheart, _fuck_ ,” he groans. “Rey, I need to come so badly. Need to come inside of you—”

Rey whimpers as her hips collapse against his again and again, their eyes locked together, and she’s overwhelmed by the heat of his gaze, so intense and fervent and adoring.

She’s never felt so cherished in all her life.

So... _loved._

She’s still looking into his eyes as she comes, his eyes worshipful as she whimpers his name, and he presses his lips to hers, moaning her name into her mouth, tightening his arms around her as he fills her.

Their sweat slicked foreheads meet and they linger for a moment as they gasp for air. When her breathing returns to something resembling normalcy, Rey gets off of him and buries her face in the crook of his neck, hitching a leg around him as he pulls her in close. He kisses the top of her head as he hums contentedly.

“I missed you so much, Rey,” he murmurs, gingerly running a hand through his hair. “I never thought I would see you again, let alone...” he trails off and she wraps herself around him tightly. 

“I’m so sorry for pushing you away, for hurting you, Ben, I —”

“Shh, it’s okay, sweetheart. All that matters is you’re here now, with me,” he says softly as he gently rubs her back. 

“Yes,” she murmurs, her fingers absentmindedly tracing across his chest as he kisses the top of her head again. “You’re right.” She glances up at him, and gently strokes his cheek as his eyes, adoring as ever, scan her face. “I don’t want to push you away anymore, Ben, I — I don’t want to lose you.”

“You’re not going to lose me. I’m not going anywhere,” he murmurs, before leaning in and placing a small, tender kiss to her lips.

“Good,” Rey whispers back. 

She swallows thickly, her shoulders rising and falling as her breathing quickens again, something unsaid hanging in the air between them, lingering on her lips, coursing through her veins. 

And she doesn’t know how she knows it, only that she _does_ and she doesn’t want to run from it anymore, even though it scares her to death. 

“What is it?” he says softly, bringing a hand to her face and stroking her cheek with his thumb.

She takes another deep breath.

“I love you, too,” she breathes out.

Ben’s brows furrow slightly as his eyes rapidly search her face, as if he’s in disbelief at what she’s just said, letting out a small sigh.

“Rey, it’s okay, like I said, you don’t have to—” he stammers, shaking his head slightly.

“I love you, Ben,” she says again, her voice firm, a ferocious resolve in her eyes. She presses a kiss to his lips. “I love you,” she murmurs. She kisses both of his cheeks. “I love you,” she says again as she kisses his forehead. “I love you,” she murmurs against the corner of his mouth, and then he takes her face in her hands and kisses her fiercely, deeply, desperately.

When they pull away, they’re both gasping for air.

“I love you, too, Rey,” he tells her as he gingerly strokes her cheek.

She huffs out a small giggle.

“I know,” she whispers, and then she grins as she pulls him into another kiss, before letting her head rest against his chest again. Suddenly, she lets out a laugh, shaking her head against his chest.

“What is it?” Ben asks.

“I just — we made such a big deal about getting pizza together, and now we’ve let the pizzas get cold.”

Ben laughs too as his hands run through her hair. 

“Fuck, you’re right,” he says. “I don’t regret anything, though,” he adds.

“Neither do I.”

And it feels like they’re not just talking about letting takeaway pizzas get cold. 


	13. Chapter 13

Rey has already gotten out of bed by the time Ben wakes up. When he goes to put on his jeans, he realizes his shirt is suspiciously missing. 

He goes into the living room to see Rey sitting criss-cross on the couch wearing his black t-shirt — which is more like a dress on her — her hair thrown in a loose bun, eating a piece of pizza while she scrolls through her phone, humming contentedly to herself.

He is quite convinced she’s the cutest person who has ever existed.

“So that’s where my shirt went,” Ben says with a smirk as he walks over to her.

She turns to look up at him and grins, scrunching her nose up slightly.

“Well, it’s my shirt now,” she informs him.

“Is that so?” he murmurs as he leans down to kiss her lips, “Well, I’m going to need it back so I can go home.”

She shrugs. “That sounds like a personal problem. Like I said, it’s my shirt now.”

“You’re ridiculous,” he tells her.

“You love me,” she says through a bite of pizza.

  
He smiles softly.

“I do,” he says, “More than anything.”

This makes her blush, and he wonders how it’s possible for someone to be this adorable.

“Wait,” he says suddenly, his eyes darting to the pizza she’s eating, “Is that...is there pineapple on that pizza?”

“Why yes, there is,” she says with a smirk. “And it’s _delicious,_ Benjamin.”

Ben’s features scrunch up in disgust. “That might be a dealbreaker,” he says playfully, “I don’t know if I can have a girlfriend who eats pineapple on her pizza.”

“Hmm, I don’t recall saying I was your girlfriend, though, Benjamin,” she points out with a teasing grin.

Ben suddenly looks confused, and maybe a little hurt. “Oh. Right,” he says.

She rolls her eyes, smiling.

“Ben,” she says firmly, “Of course I’m your girlfriend. I was just teasing you.”

A smile tugs at his lips.

“You’re my girlfriend?” he asks.

“Um, what else do you call the woman who loves you and has sex with you, Benjamin?” she goads.

“That is a very good point,” he says, taking a seat beside her on the couch. She rests her head against his shoulder, and then he scoops her up onto his waist. She sets her pizza down on the coffee table and wraps her arms around him. 

“I have to go to work soon,” she says with a sigh as he gently runs his fingers through her hair. “And so do you.”

“About that...” Ben starts to say, “I’m sort of unemployed right now.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize,” she says, sitting up so she’s facing him. “Did Snoke fire you after...you know...?”

He shakes his head.

“No. I quit,” he tells her. 

Rey’s eyes widen.

  
“You finally quit?” she asks.

He nods, and then she grabs his face and kisses him forcefully.

“I’m so proud of you, Ben,” she says when she pulls away, “You deserve better than that asshole,” she adds, smiling at him as she brushes a stray strand of his hair out of his face.

“I’m actually in the process of trying to write for _The Times,”_ he explains, “I have an interview to work for the news desk, and the opinion editor accepted my pitch for an opinion piece, but I haven’t submitted it yet, because it just doesn’t feel quite finished yet, and I just...I wanted you to look it over, and until last night I had no idea that would even be a possibility.”

“Well, you know I’d be happy to look it over,” she tells him with a soft smile, “And I’m so proud of you for applying to _The Times.”_

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he murmurs before kissing her lips again. “It’s getting late,” he says finally, “You should be getting ready for work. And I need my shirt back,” he adds with a smirk.

Rey sighs forlornly.

“Fine,” she mutters, “But you’re not going to let me shower alone though, are you?” she adds, a playful grin tugging at her lips.

Ben chuckles.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart.”

* * *

  
  


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**ONE WEEK LATER**

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**SIX MONTHS LATER**

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	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The letter in this chapter was made by the amazing [Lena](http://twitter.com/bensoloswhore)!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! Come say hi to me on [Twitter](http://twitter.com/darthswift13), where I post lots of Social Media AUs like this!

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**SIX MONTHS LATER**

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**ONE YEAR LATER**

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**_First, an update on these queens:_ **

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_**Epilogue❤️** _

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